Queen of the Royally Awkward

If I were to run as president or ruler of any country, or state, I would probably run for The United States of Awkward. And would rule with supreme grace. CLEARLY.
I have come to point this out this morning because, well, I had a rather unfortunate accident last night.
Now, just to set the scene, Monday nights are those nights when…well I sort of have the most free reign over what I can do on a Monday. As a result of this, I’ve taken to having long baths before Glee. Now, my baths are LONG, DEEP AND HOT. (THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID…oh cripes). Also, when I am relaxed, I may need to point out, that this is my most awkward state. I mean REALLY. So, in this relaxed and quite calm mood, I decided to reach for a flannel. In the cupboard. Around the corner from the bath. SO!
STANDING UP (oh so sensibly in a slippy and HOT bath) I grabbed on to the side of the sink, and lent. Oh my, I did underestimate how slippy that surface was. Inevitably, I ended up completely and utterly BRUISED. I slipped ok? AND IT HURT. A LOT. The worst thing was that it sounded horrific and really loud because the water splashed back and my other foot knocked my pot of cream off the side of the bath. Just to set the scene, I was leaning with one hand against the shower wall (only really Liz and Mum can picture this, maybe James, but to the rest of you, GOOD LUCK MUAHAHHAHA), one hand leaning OUT of the bath and onto the sink, this was then the hand that reached into the cupboard (which is like, behind the shower “wall”, it’s what creates the bit for the shower to be attached to) and LO AND BEHOLD, ONE FOOT GAVE WAY AND I ENDED UP THE REACHING HAND ON THE FLOOR OF THE BATHROOM, MY HIP AND LEG CRASHING AGAINST THE SIDE OF THE BATH, AND MY OTHER LEG KNEELING ON THE FLOOR, KNOCKING THE CREAM OVER. And of course, after all of this, I nonchalantly screamed “I’M FINE” and decided the best plan of action was just to GET BACK IN THE BATH AND CALM THE BRUISES.
As a result of this, I now have the most killer ninja bruises EVER. You know, the ones that you can sense but can’t see. They’re like bruises in TRAINING. Man, I bet they appear later during the week, a stonking shade of purple, blue, green and yellow. I shall report back to you, I know you’d all love to know about the state of my bruising, it’s clearly the most RIVETING THING YOU WILL READ ALL WEEK.

I got my nerd glasses back offof Alice last night. I sat and talked to her Mum for like half an hour before she got back in from getting an injection. Man, if there’s one creature or being that I admire the most on this planet, it’s Mothers. I think that is all I shall say for now, I may explore this later in another post, this one needs to retain its air of ambiguity and awkwardness for now. Anyway, Dom told me that he’d been wearing my glasses, but Alice told me that he took them out of her bag, and after realising that they were mine and not Alice’s, continued smiling. I also, continued smiling.
I hope I am not putting all of my peeps in one basket.
Alas (earwax) I must return to my stupor in light of this heavy load of work I must do. I have to cut out some corduroy OH SO CAREFULLY (not on the day of awkward, oh no, I AM JINXED) and then give a presentation on the Ukulele to some Cadets this evening. Give me strength.


(Strength was needed, BUT I PULLED THROUGH AND THEY WERE STUNNED. YAYz!!!!)


Tatty bye,
Haze