Really beginning to struggle

With a lot of things.

Mainly school work. Amongst social and moral struggles, blog posting has become something of a luxury. And lo and behold, a smidgen of time, late on a Friday evening of a Bank Holiday, I have seized the time and committed attitude and decided to write...something.

First note to make, I have deleted/suspended a rather large chunk of my internet self. Yes, the big and rather bad Facebook. It's gone. For now. I suspect that I'll return to it, but my friend Alice asked why yesterday, and I told her that it was just getting too much! Staring at it, constantly checking to no avail. She was very understanding in her reply, "Ah yes I thought so, Facebook Lent." Which, come to think of it, is a PERFECT term for it. I'll be back in 40 days, approx of course.

It's ever so useful for keeping in touch, and laughing at groups and so on and so forth, but it takes time. Precious time which I do not have to waste any more, however much fun it is to do so.

Upon the subject of wasting time, I really dislike fighting loosing battles. Especially with my own conscience. It upsets me when I am amidst an unsettling in my friendship group which I cannot seem to repair. I am usually the glue to their mismatched and splintered pieces, but I seem to be that piece of chewing gum that always falls out from the gap in-between, no longer holding it together, but on the floor and being well and truly trodden on. (It's not that bad, I just really enjoyed extending the metaphor. Gosh and golly I do adore the English Language!) Stubborn people really do get on my nerves. Especially highly, and very wrongly, prejudicial persons. Still, there's nothing I can do about it but hang around until whatever comes to pass will have... well...passed. All being well.

As I type my rather mundane and poorly crafted ideas out, my hair is wet. I can't seem to find anything to do with it these days. It just hangs there, "like a dead thing on your cheeks" (Oh Hairspray, what a delight! Thanks for just poppin' into my head Nikki!) with no purpose, meaning or life. Well, hair characteristically has only really one of those characteristics ANYWAY, so it's not all bad.

I'm really enjoying being a better friend to one person in particular at the moment. She's my early morning friend, and we do work together, and talk about how we love the little happy things in life, especially our dreams and early bedtime routines (make of that what you will... ;]) and of course...MUSIC! Yes, this is my friend Rachel. She's absolutely lovely. And that is the best adverb to describe her, apart from Avatar-ly. She has long brown/ginger ("non-permanent dye for Annie Jr that NEVER WASHED OUT) hair that looks delightful in a massive plait down her back. She never fails to make me smile, and I'm excited to go to Paris with her in the summer on our School Choir and Orchestra concert tour. She's an AMAZING soprano too, I am in awe of how clear her voice is! We have decided that we will be domestic wives that cook and clean and have rosy cheeked children, and have picnics.

This is furthering my ideal of raising children who enjoy going to various National Trust establishments (LIKE ME ^_^) and being able to just be in awe of nature and its beauty by being happy and surrounded by people and things that make me happy.

Another thing about talking to Rachel makes me realise how much I would actually enjoy being a professional (or freelance) dream interpreter! She has the most vivid dreams. You know when you *really* think you can imagine what the other person is describing? I think it's probably just the way she describes what happens... or that and the way that I know most of her dreams are set in Medieval England (MERLIN FTW muhahahhaha).

Anyway, I thought I'd drop you a paragraph or two to tell you that all is well, my nails and their beds SUCK (I also heart Mean Girls, as should you ALL) because it's revision/stress time here.

I went to a Clarinet workshop today and the dude giving the workshop was called Paulo. He was AMAZING. "And THAT is why the Bass Clarinet is the best instrument of all, and you know it!" TRUE DAT PAULO, TRUE DAT MY FRIEND.

I am thoroughly enthused about the passion behind music now, and I really enjoy playing it :D

ON A BASS CLARINET, THANKYOU VERY MUCH!

Lessthanthree.

I doubt that I will post much more until after the exams when you know, real life starts again!

But you can always live in hope.

I do.

Tatty bye,

Haze

Long journeys

Down to Stratford and back in a day.

We set off on the dot of 7:30 AM, and got back at 3:38 AM, on Good Friday.

Yes, this morning.

Now, if I had not been awake on a bus at 01:06 this morning, I would have ignored my phone.

Last night was our sixth form's boat party. Now, our sixth form are somehow able to exceed the extremes, and really push the boundaries in the ways of you know, making a scene of themselves, and in doing so, our school. I do not doubt that there will be numerous rumours of people doing things whilst drunk at this party, on the boat, being kicked off the boat, and afterwards at each others' houses. I sometimes like to hear about this, but only in the sense of knowing that I was safe and away from this angst and drunken confusion, and on a bus, trying to sleep across the aisle without getting kicked by Adele. However, the high class irony of it all was that after seeing King Lear in The Courtyard Theatre, we went into the toilets before catching the coach back, and I said to Danielle "I bet there'll be loads of craic when we get back, it was the boat party tonight." That was all I said.

And at 1:06AM, today, I was leaning forward onto a pillow, trying to sleep, and with my phone being next to my face, it woke me up. It was a call from perhaps the last person on earth (bit of an exaggeration Haze, but that's what it felt like at that UNGODLY hour!) I would have expected a call from and by Jove, they were drunk. Three more calls in quick succession. I sent a text just saying "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?" after the first call...then 20 mins later, another call. They then said "WHO ISSSS THISSSS??!?!!" and I was like "It's Hazel, are you drunk? Stop ringing me"

Danielle urged me to shout abuse, but I was just so tired and confused that I hung up.

They then rang back, and I heard other voices saying "SAY HERR NAMEEE" and then a really, really disturbing groan.

I hung up.

I was disturbed!

Anyway, the rest of the day was utterly amazing. It rained and stuff, but I think I might just make a video this afternoon talking about what happened. It was amazing, even the torrential rain didn't upset me!

I'm excited to spend time with Liz, catching up, shopping, watching films!

Tuesday and Thursday of this week will hopefully be lovely!

I like plans.

And muffins.

Tatty bye,

Haze