Wednesday 10 March 2010

That sensation when something reminds you of something else

Last night, I listened to a CD. On a portable CD player, connected to portable speakers, so that I could relax in the shower, or you know, SING ALONG. But it kept skipping! And in this day and age, you just don’t get that anymore, right? It’s all digtal mp3s or mp4s and iPods and cables, not a jumpy and probably scratched CD flipping past chunks of excellent song! It just made me think back to all of those times, driving to Leeds, in the back of the car with my ripped Libertines CD’s from Felix, listening to WHOLE albums, just because I wanted to know, I just WANTED to sit and enjoy a WHOLE album, albeit on my knee and jumping around, skipping little bits of the song because the CD player didn’t have shock protection and was liable to skippage. I mean, those times were kind of precious, looking back. I just used to ABSORB myself in moments where I would sit, with a CD player, and know which song would come next. That sensation is weird, but I really love it. I really love listening to FULL albums. Which is why “the shuffle age” is really starting to annoy me. I skip past almost EVERY song these days. Why don’t I just play that album? Because, for me, it’s far easier to just stick the *real* CD on, through a variety of players, or burn it to a MIX CD( or even tape, yes, I still love making those :D) and then play that! The mix of music I have is great, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes, it’s just really great to listen to what you want without the surprises, pleasant as they may be, and just feel a little bit less anxious about what might shuffle into your head playlist.

On another note, we saw that really annoying man in the red Saab again this morning. Dad and I just laughed really heartily and he drove on. It was amusing :D
Also, another thing that’s pleasant is texting someone who you wouldn’t necessarily expect to respond to you in a pleasant way. That was odd last night. But also, getting in touch with a friend who you haven’t spoken to in at least a month, and them apologising for late replies, but just continuing a conversation smoothly is also really…just comforting. I had this moment in Biology yesterday, I know, kind of the wrong place to have it, but I’d finished the experiment, and test (HAVING RECEIVED AN “A” AND A NICE ONE OFFOF MR.JOHNSON *punches air*) and I was just sat there, thinking: “What if I’ve done it wrong? (not the test) What if I’ve made all of these choices, and I’ll look back to see that the people I’ve made friendships with will all have left me, and I won’t have appreciated the support network I had?”

And that was it. Just a brief flash of doubt. And then my real head kicked in and said “NO HAZE. LIVE IN THE MOMENT”
So that is what I’m doing. If it all goes wrong, I’ll live with it. I don’t really think it’s going to, I’m just really apprehensive that one day, it *might*. I don’t want it to, at all! It was certainly a scary thought, and I really surprised myself. I think that thinking like that is something I need to *STOP* doing.
My decisions must be right, because I’m really happy.

Although, I am going to be in school until 6pm tonight. It is now 8:22 (when writing this, not posting) A.M. THAT IS (just less than) 10 HOURS.


IT’S WRONG!
But I will be singing, so eeet’s not all bad :D
Anyway, this blog was really weird, and I don’t think I should try to divulge my depressive thoughts to you any more, right?
(Sorry it wasn’t a story James, I’ll keep thinking)

Tatty bye,
Haze


(EXCESSIVE USE OF BRACKETS POST? CHECK)

2 comments:

  1. Excessive use of CAPS too because my voice hurts a bit after reading this out loud expressively. I've started listening to whole albums again through the "Album of the Day", its AMAZING. It takes me back to the old days, with listening to The Darkness in full, then Rent, then BUSTED, but not with just ONE song, with WHOLE ALBUMS.

    I don't have the "By the Way" album by the Chili's for some UNKNOWN reason... I'll have to rip that when I'm home, and I need the Can't remixes too because that never sent over skype.

    This comment is nearly as long as my blog.

    XD

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  2. I like having a small playlist on iTunes and putting it on Shuffle, because it ALWAYS chooses the same order. So after a while, you know which song is coming. But I get what you mean. I think part of the reason I miss those times with the portable CD players was that I was so much younger and everything was simpler back then. Gahh. Anywayss, bye :)

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